The Marriage Advice That Helped Me In My Business

Today, Eric and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary! It has me reminiscing a lot about how we’ve both grown and the lessons we’ve learned along the way.

I remember being nervous about getting married - it was such a major decision. 

Even though it felt right, I remember thinking, “How do we know this is going to work out long-term? Will we still be happy and love each other in a few years?”

Which brought me back to a piece of advice my dad gave me a few weeks before we got married.

I was home finalizing some details, and I remember asking my dad why so many people’s marriage advice sounded more like a warning. 😳 He said, "People usually give advice based on their own personal experiences. Your marriage will be as good as you choose to make it.”

I remember feeling so relieved and empowered realizing that I was able to choose. That advice applies beautifully to so many other areas in life too.

When we approach life knowing that we have a choice of what we believe, how we show up, and the actions we take, it gives us a lot more power in the outcomes that we experience in our lives.

Which makes me wonder, where in your life do you need to feel more empowered?

Maybe you’re about to launch a new product in your business, but the fear of failure has been holding you back from finalizing and launching it.

Maybe you have a deep desire to start your business, but you worry about what other people will think of you.

Or maybe you’ve been dreaming about making a big change in your life, but you’re doubting whether or not you have what it takes to make it work.

The unknown is as scary as it is exciting. Today, I’m sharing 3 ways you can move out of fear and doubt, and feel empowered with the big decisions you’re facing in your life.

1. Take Ownership over your mindset, feelings, and actions.

It’s important to accept that there are many things in life that we cannot control. AND it’s just as important to take ownership over the things we CAN, like our mindset, our emotions, and our actions.

When you have the awareness to look inward and own the thoughts and beliefs that are playing on a loop in your mind, it gives you the power to change them. Someone once told me, “Whatever you look for, you’ll find.” In psychology, this is called confirmation bias. 

Our subconscious minds are always looking for proof of what we believe. Our brains take all the information we receive on a daily basis (2.3 million bits of info/second) and filter out what’s necessary and what’s not based on our internal beliefs, values, identity, and more.

When you start replacing your limiting beliefs with empowering ones, you’ll find proof and opportunities that align with what you really want. The same is true if your beliefs are negative and limiting. It’s important that you take ownership over what you believe about yourself and the world. 

Our beliefs directly impact how we feel, and how we feel greatly impacts how we take action.

This is why I focus so heavily on mindset with my clients. In my opinion, it's a functional take on coaching, because we start at the root issue rather than trying to treat the symptoms.

So ask yourself, “What are the beliefs and thoughts that are playing on a loop in my mind?” Do they support who you really are and what you really want? If they don’t, figure out how you can change them to something more empowering.

When you take ownership over the thoughts you allow to take up space in your mind, how you feel, and the way you act, it puts you in a powerful position and sets you up for success.

2. Look at your results with curiosity. 

I don’t know anyone who’s only had to try once in order to succeed. It takes multiple attempts - failures included. This is when separating your worth from your work comes in handy. It’s so important to look at your results and view any type of success or failure as feedback.

It takes humility to have a growth mindset, but when you do you’ll be able to learn quicker, make adjustments so you can get better, and continue trying until you finally do reach the level of success you’re capable of achieving.

Start by asking yourself, what’s working well? Where have you succeeded in the past and how can you repeat that? What strengths and resources did you use? It helps to build self-trust and belief when we look at our past wins and apply those learnings and strengths to what you’re working on now.

Then, look at a failure you experienced, and ask yourself, “What could I have done differently to have gotten a better result?” What lessons are in that failure that you can bring with you into your next attempt? What was a missing link that you can make sure you connect next time?

It’s encouraging and exciting to see that there are improvements that can be made and that success is still absolutely possible for you. 

3. Adopt the belief that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have in that moment.

Brené Brown said, “All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.”

This approach has not only helped me in my marriage, it’s also helped me with my working relationships. When you choose to believe that people are doing the very best with what they have it allows you to show up with more empathy and compassion. 

When we’re able to meet people where they are with compassion and empathy, it creates a sense of safety. Safety is a necessary ingredient for true growth, intimacy, and healing. Relationships of all kinds, working and personal, thrive when there’s a sense of safety and healthy boundaries in place.

Doing this also helps you to take ownership over your own emotions, and let others keep ownership over their own. You can’t control other people and you’re not responsible for their emotions, but you can control how you treat and respond to them.

This is especially helpful when people doubt you and your dreams. It’s helpful to remember that it says so much more about where they are and the experiences they’ve had than it does about you and your potential.

So next time you fear getting criticized or doubted, ask yourself, “If I fully believed that this person was doing the very best they could with what they have in that moment, how would I respond?” 

Your business, relationships, and life are what you choose to make them. Choose to be empowered and watch how they all thrive as a result.

What’s one way you can empower yourself this week?

If you’re ready to feel empowered and take full ownership over your life and your results, click here and get your free 21-Day Highest Self Guided Journal. These questions are designed to help you dive deep and get in touch with the fullest version of you.