I Wouldn't Mix These Two Things if I Were You
Have you ever felt guilty for wanting more in your life? Maybe you have some really big dreams, but this voice of guilt keeps popping up to say, “You should just be grateful for where you are…”
On a recent coaching call, my client expressed to me how much enjoyment she's having during this current season of her life and business. She also expressed desire for the many things she wants to do and accomplish in the future.
She said, “Some days, I'm beyond grateful to be where I am, while others I feel far away from where I really want to be. It’s frustrating.”
For those of us who are ambitious and future-oriented, it can be challenging to find that line of enjoying the present moment, while also dreaming about what's next.
On one hand, you’re proud of how far you've come in your business. You’ve worked hard to get here and have hit major goals and milestones along the way.
Yet, on the other hand, you feel like you’re just scratching the surface of what's possible. You have all kinds of big goals and dreams you want to achieve. There’s so much you want to do in life, but it feels overwhelming.
And every now and then, you wonder when, or on a particularly rough day IF, they’ll ever actually happen.
I experienced this myself a few weeks ago. While sitting on a mentor's blue velvet couch, I vented my frustrations and fears, when she stopped me mid-sentence and asked, “If you could pick your ideal 4-course meal, what would each course include?”
I paused and thought, Well this is a bit off topic, but I love food and going out to dinner is one of my favorite things to do, so I'll bite…
I answered, “Okay for the first course, I'd start with a cocotte of fresh vegetables glazed with mustard seeds, orange and carrot juice (A dish I was recently introduced to in France that obviously left an impression).
“Then, for the second course, a sage and butternut squash ravioli, with freshly shaved white truffles on top (I will never say “no” to a truffle).
"I'd choose halibut en papillate with garlic, lemon, mushrooms, and thyme as my third course.
"And for the finale, let’s pretend my stomach does fine with dairy and give me a really well done vanilla bean creme brûlée.”
My stomach growled as I waited for her response that would tie this all together for me. But as great mentors often do, she responded with another question, “How would you prefer to enjoy each course?”
“I'd want to take my time to really savor each one."
“So you wouldn't want to mix the halibut and creme brûlée together?” she asked.
Now, I'm not necessarily the type that freaks out if my food is touching on the plate, but I absolutely would not mix those things together.
She smiled and responded, “So what allows you to savor and enjoy each course?”
I took a breath and dropped my shoulders as I realized I'm able to enjoy where I am, because I have full faith that each course is on its way. I’m not full of fear, skeptical that people are stealing my food, or running back into the kitchen to harass the chef and try to control Every. Little. Thing. This, I've come to realize, is what abundance feels like for me: faith, presence, and gratitude all mixed together.
When I operate from a place of gratitude and faith, I'm open, calm, and full of joy and anticipation (which is very different than expectation as we talked about a few weeks ago here). I’m able to be present, make better decisions, and take more thoughtful action. All of which will help impact my future.
When I operate out of fear, I'm full of doubt, impatience, and feelings of scarcity. As a result, some (many) of my shadow traits surface. I’m more close-minded, negative, my self-belief takes a hit, and I have a higher chance of missing out on unexpected opportunities that may help lead me to where I want to go.
Which course are you currently in? If you knew the next one was coming, how would you savor this current one? How would you anticipate the next?
Remember, the moment you're in currently is preparing you for the next one. I hope you’ll savor them both.
INTERESTED IN WORKING TOGETHER?
If you're ready to have high-level support to help you navigate the ups and downs with confidence and peace, I currently have 2 open spots for 1-1 coaching starting next month. Click the link below to apply for a call and let's see if this would be the right fit.